Forever Amber Part 1

I’m a little more than halfway through Kathleen Winsor’s Forever Amber. And I can see why, in 1944, it might have been banned.

Amber is a whore.

Even by today’s standards she is kind of a slut. Not that I’m judging. I’m loving. It’s been a while since I’ve read such a delicious book. I’m enjoying every dirty, whorish second of it.

So Amber St. Clare (by the way, we can thank Ms Winsor for all the Ambers running around these days – this book first popularized the name) runs away to London with a handsome Lord. She leaves her charming English village and family, he gets her knocked up and then he leaves (some things evidently do not change). What’s a 16 year old hottie to do in Restoration England?

After some seriously poor choices land her in Newgate, Amber vows to get away from dirty poverty and make something of herself. But come on guys. Not a whole lot of options for a woman in 1666. Lucky for her she’s hot and women are finally allowed on the stage.

Yes, in the fine tradition of Ambers since, she becomes an actress.

I’m halfway through and we’ve been treated to a dalliance with the king, at least 3 illegitimate pregnancies, a liberal sprinkling of casual abortions and plague. Just finished some plague chapters. Fairly descriptive. Lots of puss.

And the exclamation marks! Are used to denote excitement! Anger! Joy! Frustration! Despair! Ennui!

If this book wasn’t so addictive, the exclamation marks may have been a mark against it. But I can’t put it down. And that’s saying something – it weighs a ton. No seriously. This book may singlehandedly have convinced me on the e-reader front.

No, that’s never going to happen. But this book is seriously heavy. I’m such a committed physical-book-reader (can we put our heads together and come up with a snappier name for that?) that I may have given myself some sort of book carpal tunnel. Or whiplash. Can you get whiplash from not moving?

Basically, if you are looking for a slutty book, a completely escapist read, you need to get your hands on Forever Amber. Go on, do it. You know you want to. And you will totally look like you are reading something respectable (you’re not) because the cover is a beautiful painting.

Win. Win.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to find out what happens to Amber and Lord Carleton…

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